Cat\’s Eye View

Every time my Ma leaves me alone in the house, she tells me, “No wild parties and don’t burn the house down.”

I wonder sometimes, what is she thinking? I mean, I’m pretty sure I could turn on the stove. I could grab the knobby thing in my teeth and twist it on, but well, i’m not going to do that. Why? Well, truthfully, for two reasons: First, I like my fish raw, so why would I need a stove?  Second, to get to a point where I can reach the knob, I’d have to be standing on the burners. Then, I turn on the burners and ….ahhh, my paws!  OUCH!

I am not that stuipid.

I also don’t play with the candles because they all smell funny and make my nose twitch. Sometimes, they even make me sneeze. Ma has this one she likes…sensuous amber…seriously it smells okay from the other room, but get too close and bam! your nose explodes.

So anyway, I’m wondering what kind of party animals would actually burn the house down. Not a dog. They’re too dumb to figure out how to light a candle or turn on the stove. Not a cat. We’re too smart for that.

Maybe giraffes. They could reach over the burners to turn the knobs and maybe they like scortched leaves. So, I just need to explain to Ma, her new rule should be, “Don’t let in the giraffes!”

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